my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymoremy wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore11 Apr my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

It got to the point that he wanted sex badly and was about to lose his mind. The idea that anyone has to resort to porn, masturbating or ignoring their own healthy needs and desires to actually connect skin to skin with their partner while exchanging looks and words of passion and enjoying, it is wrong. how do i tell him that in this life, especially for them both, there is more to life than just sex. Without going into details - I am 100% certain that it was satisfying for both of us. Key points. It is indeed like forcing down a tasteless meal for someone elses sake. Am I ugly? Monica..give her satisfaction .. that is exactly what I would love to do for my wife of 30 years. I was looking forward to my sexual freedom and massive quantities of sex and orgasms. I have never been a man so I cannot empathize with a man. struggles or clinical depression? There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. This is relevant for anyone with anxiety about their body (which, unfortunately, is true for the vast majority of women), but it may be particularly relevant for women as they age, go through childbirth, or simply experience changes to their body over time. Or if your wife does have a known medical issue, talk to each other about how your sex life might be being affected and ways you can work together to keep your sex life healthy. My other half dosent get it and keeps going on and on about it. I feel like Ive been through hell. And somehow we have convinced ourselves sex has become less important to us as we age and replaced by the comfort of just knowing we love one another? Copyright 2023 Older Adults Technology Services, Inc. All rights reserved. My guess is shes been trying to rid herself of me for many years but wants me to be the one to leave so she can save face with friends and family. He wears it and with a little imagination it can work just like the real thing. Then menopause dried it out and the muscles resist and joints spasm, so its painful. If she isnt satisfied in bed, it could be that shes tired of initiating intimacy only to be left wanting. Think of the biblical verse Ecclesiastes 3. If not he should go on in it. The scenario you posited is anything but. See the New York Times story, Does a More Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex?. Im in my 50s and after years without feeling that hardness inside me anymore, I often find myself thinking about the next 30 years without. I wont lecture: youve all read about it. Holy Cow, I have about had it. Only 50 at wits end, I dont want to start over, but I dont want to go another 10 years like this either, I cant talk to her about it be cause she has tried it didnt work, but no physical contact and her liking other guys attention just makes it unbearable, Between the undesirable side effects of the meds I take for depression and the unfortunate consequences of menopause, my sex drive is just dead, and I neither care nor have any desire whatsoever to revive it. He may still be impotent after surgery, no guarantees. Once the children appeared on the scene I would never have done anything that would risk us splitting up. Im considering leaving altogether and realize it will put a financial strain on both of us although we have significant cash equity in our home which can make it much easier in retirement. If your wife never initiates affection, it could be due to any of the reasons listed above in this article. Counseling is usually the way out but unfortunately most people in a relationship dont want to go that route (or at least one of them doesnt). Am I doomed? We may as well sleep in separate beds at this point. I too have never cheated. If I was better looking and could make the time to find a willing partner Id do it because sex has dwindled a lot in the last ten years. Just as women receive and need emotional connection, men provide a different way of showing their connection to their woman. 2. He is always sitting alone. He has an expectation of honesty and communication, perhaps, but only if he is providing the same for you. Men listen carefully If your wife stopped having sex with you after marriage she will NEVER regain that desire for you. Emotional intimacy is a big factor in a happy marriage and a satisfying sex life. Then extreme back problems thru me into disability. interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! Our devastation has completely made intimacy and sex impossible. Maybe have her read what you have posted here so she can see your pain all laid out with no interruptions like conversations can have when 2 people are both upset and talk at the same time. Frankly Im tired of people pushing to try Testosterone replacement again. Most men do their deed and roll over. She can also talk to her doctor to see what options are available to support her libido. Im 65 and just want a happy, peaceful existence and I cope with EVERYTHING 100% , except sex. Now, I just want to be wanted by her. I only basically feel good enough to have pretty good days. It could mean that your wife is experiencing changes in her mental health or there is an unresolved issue in your relationship. How about this? He (so far) said no. Holding on and hoping we can work it out, for now Im giving him space. Weve been married for 27 years and have 3 adult children. Very true! I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) Maybe, she knows of your infidelity, but hasnt spoken about it? Sometimes I just want fuck all night long but the woman I love has no interest. A dip in intimacy can be brought on by several factors new responsibilities, changing priorities, biological and physiological changes. Hope now your problem will be solved. What r u holding on for?! var d = document, s = d.createElement('script'); well she decided we will not have sex, and to top it off, she has panic if she touches me and me touching her. I offered my husband a quick and easy as possible divorce. That being said, my wife and I married young. I live in my garage, shop, apartment and happy as clam no yelling and name calling. Damn was I a dumbass. Why would anyone want to have sex with your pessimistic, crotchety, excuse-ridden ass? All he needs is that wonderful little blue pill. Awful!!! And the source of so many sleepless nights is that person who promised to love and honor us until death dobus part and who still possess a mouth and fingers and the ability to do just that. I am 65 and raring to go and caopable of satisfying a woman in her 30s. Im 55 my name is Tom, I havent made love to my wife in nearly 9 years due to her having several medical issues. She may give in from time to time to satisfy her man, but the drive is gone. Let the in-laws or best friend care for your children for a day or two. that you would love to have *that* him back in your life. Dont fool yourself into thinking that what you say or how you say it will somehow turn her back on. , such as being secretive, avoiding you, or hitting the gym. we always believe that we are being judged . Having said that, I understand your frustration too. She is a vegetarian and a purist in many ways, rejecting hormone therapy because of the published risks of breast cancer associated with hormone therapy, though small, my doctor stated. I was in bed for a week with complications and ended up in the ER and the doctor said given my reactions my risk for stroke is 25% higher using Testosterone but I still get told I need to think of her and give it another try. 2nd doctor also said the same thing. Cheating is easy and you deserve it. We both have health issues Now whats so hard about that. Perfectly happy and have intention to change it. Shes not. messages where she was being flirtatious to a local musician . Cheers Rl. If your wife feels less overburdened with household responsibilitiesand sees you making an active effort to take on your share of the loadyou might find she has more time, energy, and interest in sex. Meanwhile. oh Pamela, I hear you! But you cant fix a problem if you dont know the cause. I thought during the first couple of years of our marriage that I was imagining this but I now realize I wasnt (since he recently stated how we werent trying to procreate any longer, so why bother with sex.). I hear ya Jose! Married 30 years now. Not easy for her to open up and talk about thingsbeen that way all of our married lives..43 plus years. I am 64 now and have had some vaginal atrophy, which made penetration hurt, but I take a vaginal pill twice a week. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. Discuss it with her: Share this iMOM article with your wife and discuss it: 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood. Haha Im not going to belittle my husband and make him feel less of a man when he is the one with impotence. I understand that kids, work, and home projects can weaken your romantic side over time, but it doesnt have to be that way. Please explain to me. First few years sex was great. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Join us online to gain access to exclusive benefits and opportunities only for Senior Planet Supporters! For many men, wooing and life after wooing are two vastly different realities. Then if you still have to, decide. We men are so caught up in our egos . . Fully. When women say that theyre exhausted, men can often take it as a personal rejection without realizing that she woke up at 5 a.m. I am in this marriage til death do us part but I feel like Im missing something very big in my life. How about finding self-worth in volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? I feared marriage for tears because I knew this is what it would be. I like cuddling. Since I dont know your wife and I dont know anything about your conversational style or hers, I cant give you the magic words for getting the conversation started. mine forgot my birthday this year (it is 2 days before his lol) and our wedding anniversary : ( I can not compete with his online game omg he plays 24-7 so I can relate to your problem with your wife choosing the phone over you thats cold. When a woman has to live with her in-laws, its a major change from the way she had been living before. He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. He snores so he sleeps in his own bedroom. Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. I have been married for almost 30 years and except for 3 wonderful children our sex life has been hit and miss. My hubby is one happy camper. The distance could be herway of punishing you and teaching you a lesson. 1. I have had a suspicious breast biopsy. Bull. I wish she would just go away and never come back, shes got just about everything I own. However this does not mean that sex should just cease and its quite difficult for one party in a marriage or long term relationship to just do without something like this because the other party has lost interest (or is depressed), or whatever. BUT I agree If I was an electronic game, or a bead of some kind I would get some attention.. We have had a very good sex life up until a few years ago, and she has had many good sexual adventures. She has very little interest in penetration. Id be interested to find out your age. Well a few years ago sex began to get less and less. For a short time shed schedule sex once a week whether or not she felt like itbut then menopause hit and sex dwindled again, diminishing to once or twice a year until we stopped having sex altogether. Absolutely! Doing that just causes me to be resentful of her, and the fact that Im now reduced to doing this nasty little juvenile thing for myself. If your wife wont touch you, maybe something has changed. I just dont understand. Sounds like you were already successful and that attracted her to you. He decided hed have an affair. To me, hes practicing classic avoidance and he simply closes up emotionally. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. I am so tired of these therapists and all there lets support the one who doesnt want sex but dismiss the one who is still in love and desires romance more than anything with KEEP MASTURBATING Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. 10 year sexless marriage. Whether male or female, each of us made a promise to love and honor our partners either through marriage or by living together. One of the top sexual concerns women have is feeling self-conscious about their own bodies during sex. We have been together since the 80s and there is No ONE else I want to be with. Marriage is hard work, but worth every moment when the effort is reciprocated. Dont worry about having sex for a long time. We are all misogynistic pigs that just need a hole for our poles. People might think Im lonely but Im not, I work alone and I get all the right answers talking to my self. Maybe not as often or intense, but more tender, Life is complicated and gets more complicated as we get older. LoL. * Also, expand your definition of sex. Youre not alone. I understand the frustration, I have tried talking with my wife and have even said, if the problem was with me, I would be in a doctors office tomorrow! When we go out, all I see are happy couples who show affection and love. Theres no divorce possibility. Invariably, its a case of emotional intimacy missing. Whatever your wife is going through that causes you to think, My wife never initiates intimacy, is probably just as worrisome to her as it is to you. She claims to always be tired anyway. I was going to say you lucky lucky bastard., Maybe let her pick the sex partner and she may want to be a side participant in it, could always ask : ), Its been13 years no sex for me.lbeen married42 years..her phone and internet are more important than me. Maybe there are areas of your marriage to be worked on, maybe a little couples' therapy will make a big difference, or maybe it's time to consider whether this marriage is really worth holding on to. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. I know couples who watch it together and I believe my wife and her friend are closed minded and in denial of their contribution, or lack thereof in being that person who can meet the wants and needs of their husbands. . I hope the partner didnt expect to share the celibacy. etc. Blah blah blah. Our house is free and clear which is due to my earning a lot over 30 years and being conservative with money. I love her. Take care of yourself. It has been 5 very long years for me. Ill say this, If you truely love your spouse and THEY need intimacy, find a way to make SOMETHING happen because you are killing them. My husband has showed be very no closen in for years. Loved sexI mean with exuberance and joy. Shame on all you women who have men that are committed and loving to you!! This is how civilizations are built. I rest my case. I dont have many helpful things to add but I am getting on with life, there is more to do than sit around wallowing in sexlessness. This can be a disheartening situation to cope with. You and your husband need to take some hours to reconnect, or try to reconnect, with the people you believe yourself to have been when you first fell in love with each other. Even if he cant accept the divorce is coming!!! Your wife may have become so involved in raising the kids that her relationship with you takes a backseat. She told me, a man should never get jealous of his wife f ing other men. They may be finding fulfilment on the computer/phone with others (just a guess) and so thats a big problem right there. Hello David, Hormonal changes, which can start as early as your 20s, can also be root causes of low sex drive. They can go months and years without sex and then the menopause hits and then theyre completely done. People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. Its worth discussing with your doctor. We just share our acerage, her in the house and I have a place with my dettached out building. Now he tries to help, but its always falling on me, no matter the pain to do it. I love him more than the day we were married many many years ago. If only you could want . After everything a woman does in one day compare to what most lazy men would say. yeah, in the case of some women, there may be some other things going on w/ the bodywho knows. Be gentle and calm when you bring it up. You definitely dont get it. As we age, women and men need to feel desired and appealing to our partners. I think it is very selfish. Although he acts like he doesnt notice and maybe he dont. I do raise the issue with her from time to time. Then it was just plain no, Im not sexually turned in. not someone to basically jerk off into. On fantasy world would be 24/7! Though she died quickly sex was never discussed and I can assure you my marriage was a bed of rock. Will, I dont see ruling the relationship and demanding that a wife relieve her husband, even if shes sore or unwilling, as a solution to anything except an unhappy wife. I am retired on social security, having spent my entire returment funds on an expensive divorce and a protracted hospital stay and heart and brain surgeries. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. Have some fun with someone now and then would help .. any reply on if cheating what to look at to find someone Where???? I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. I told her that I did not want that, That I only wanted her but she said she loves me but has no sexual feelings, it is slowly destroying me and I do not know what to do, she refuses to talk about it, will not spoon in bed and pulls away from any hug. Stayed for the kids (gone now) and because I dont WANT to be divorced but I am so painfully alone. Its at least mean . All this can cause a person to go into anger and hibernate. I am a 52 year old woman who has had a hysterectomy and has gone through menopause and I have always had a high libido and still do. I think it was a relief for him because he was not much into sex. Go be the cat lady then. Shes my childhood sweetheart, has a lovely personality, a wonderful mother and a very sexy body and persona to boot.. We are peas in a pod. We have been convinced to settle and accept less. Our mouths and fingers still work! , motherhood, or work anxiety can cause your wife to feel too overwhelmed for intimacy. I am 62 and much healthier than my wife. Were you on a low dose of estrogen by mouth. I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. If you love him why cant you help him be happy a few times a week I dont get that part, it is just a little bit of your time and you could set all the rules or boundaries of what you are and are not willing to do. What played in husband mind is that the wife do not care, do not want to have relationship, intimacy etc. I dont believe calling sex your duty is accurate at all. She isnt enthusiastic about that idea. Its the only wu to turn this round. But she is just not sexually attracted to me. Youre doing them harm when refusing. Always happy to help. Our finances have never been merged and the only money between us has been my initial investment in her business. I do not believe love will demand it as a duty but love also doesnt hand over the relationship to the destructive forces and temptations, The older I get the more confident I am and hugs when one of us leaves the house. If you are not communicating about this, nothing will change. She would be lost. What the heck! There were a lot of issues toward the end of our marriage, and we divorced. She never apologized. What to do about it: Remember that it's OK to not want sex with your partner sometimes. If your wife avoids intimacy and this lack of intimacy is beginning to take a toll on your marital bliss, it is time to have an honest conversation with your spouse. As sex therapist Vanessa Marin, LMFT, once told mbg, "There's a two-way relationship between relationship satisfaction and sexual desire.". He's a great dad, and a considerate husband. We are 64 years old and havent had sex for 3 1/2 years. People need to be kept warmed up all the time before things can get hot again, they need to feel wanted, appreciated and valued before they actually want sex and are in the mood for sex. stop insultiing cats. But just remember, mature willing women are unicorns. I sincerely hope is wife is open to exploring options. I have been married since 1983. That was then and she is gone now. She needs someone to act as a buffer, to provide support and not make it seem like shes in it alone. I dont know why Im still here. It may also be helpful for her to speak with her doctor to see if there are other treatment options that might help. Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. I told him I heard him doing that and I told him if he ever did that again I would divorce him. I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. But connection and intimacy, and yes even sex, IS a need for many. I can easily live without sex, but I cannot live without love. Ive tried suggesting a date, but its hard to find something she wants to do or doesnt cost too much. Food shape. She has the house and I have my private place seperate from the main house. Your wife may simply just not want sex as regularly as you do, and she may not even know how important sex is to you. Knowing I will never be wanted again in that way by her or any woman corrodes my spirit a little more each day. The phone started beeping and making its different sounds at 630am. Is there any way I can help alleviate some of the stress she is feeling? In fact, according to WebMD, there are multiple causes that will negatively affect the sexual desire in a woman. Seeing a therapist or speaking with her doctor about her mental health is a step in the right direction to help you recognize the woman you fell in love with. That means you could wait forever for your wife to just want sex. Those hormones can cause cancer. . I have come to that conclusion also. So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. Why waste your money and time on hookerd? Amen. If your vagina is dry, find out why. Slept in basement for a few years until I built my own space that had an apartment and work shop. Men dont want to force their wives into sex, nor do they want to beg for it. But whatever you do, never go to therapists. . he is very persistent. You have slipped into being neutral around her, rather than being masculine and making her feel girly in your presence Inside, you may feel very masculine or confident, but she's not going to feel any desire to be affectionate if you don't use your masculinity to make her feel feminine (rather than neutral) in comparison to you.

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